light

i will tell you one good thing that came from my MS diagnosis - soon i'll share with you the many good things my MS helped. the first good thing was that it encouraged me to begin a spiritual journey. i was only 23 and i was not very spiritual. i believed in God but no particular religion. that remains true actually. i like to explore all religions and adopt the elements that fit me.

while i still don't consider myself religious, i have become quite spiritual. adversity prompted me to find some more support. i had and still have a great network of friends and family who help me in lots of ways. then i added a therapist and anti depressants to round out my mental state. i still wondered, "HOW AM I GOING TO DEAL WITH THIS!" the answer is: slowly, carefully and with determination. i needed to know that there was a power greater than me that would carry me on this long walk - pun intended. i needed to believe that i could speak and ask questions about my life. i don't claim to hear God's voice (or even truly KNOW there is a God), but i do feel some comfort when i reach out through the quiet for love and support. i believe God hears me, knows what i need, and helps me - even if it's not exactly the way i want it. of course, if i had my way, my MS would have disappeared long ago.

i believe there is a purpose to my life - to share the light God gave me, so that others might find their light as well. i taught elementary school for 10 years. i worked with over 200 students. if i'm lucky, those students felt my love for them and that helped them feel their light. in my "positive thinking" blog, i am trying to reach out to others that they might feel my light and in turn, feel their own.

i don't know if i would have taken a spiritual journey without my MS. i don't know if i would have found my light and ways to use it. if my MS was a catalyst for many good things, i can't say i regret it. it has helped me become who i am. still, i'd gladly be rid of it and promise God that i'd carry out my purpose. it doesn't work that way though.

yes, i have MS, but i also have a very rich life, spiritually and otherwise.