1994

as i was on my merry way to a degree in special education, my immune system was gradually eating away at my nerves.

(MS is an auto-immune disease in which the immune system thinks that the nerve insulation - myelin - is a foreign object that needs to be removed. as the myelin gets attacked, it forms scars on the nerves. sclerosis means scars - multiple sclerosis = multiple scars. as these scars develop, they prevent messages getting from the brain to the parts of the body those nerves control. initially, the affected the nerves in my body controlled my legs, bladder, and bowels.)

i was living alone, driving, and walking from parking lot to classes/grocery store/mall. at some point it hit me that my problems were getting worse. i used a cane but still struggled to walk. on more than one occasion i had bowel incontinence. (i'll leave it to your imagination how disgusting that felt. it's not something i like to discuss.)

my positive attitude was faltering. i was sad and scared about what was happening to my body. i became depressed to the point that i couldn't get myself to classes or even enjoy time with friends. my mom saw me sinking and helped me to find a psychologist for counseling and a psychiatrist for anti-depressants. after a few months of help i started to get back to myself. my professors were very understanding and helped me complete my courses. my parents took me back home. i got on with life, dealing with my MS when necessary.

that was my hardest year emotionally. i survived though. i finished my degree in spring of 1996 - but that's getting ahead of myself. much more to come...